Becky and I have been keeping a secret for a few months, but we’d like to share it now.
Our first child is due in the middle of November.
Back in March, in response to a story about college students having to pay more for birth control pills, I wrote about the Ladycomp, an incredible device from Germany that allows women to avoid pregnancy without the use of dangerous drugs or barrier methods. In a comment on that post, Cryptogon reader KL wrote:
OK, I will fall in the trap … Why aren’t you and Becky procreating? Don’t we need more of your kind, and less of the jesus-nut-neocon-dimwit type?
(Kevin, I am not telling you to have children, I’m just wondering why you aren’t doing so in such a lovely environment, because I’d want about nine kids running around such a farm.)
It was practically killing me to keep the secret that Becky and I had already started using the Ladycomp for a different purpose than the intended one. You see, the Ladycomp is setup to help women avoid pregnancy, but when a couple decides to conceive a child…
This might be more information than you want to know, but we got it right on the first try.
Becky knew she was pregnant pretty quickly and booked an appointment to see the doctor, so we could register with the midwives. The doctor is a smart woman, but she initially doubted that Becky could know she was pregnant so soon. A quick urine test later and, yep, there was the answer.
I told the doctor the story about the Ladycomp and she was very skeptical that “it” happened on the first try. The dialog with the doctor went like this:
“You avoided pregnancy for three years without using contraception, and then got your wife pregnant the first time you were actually trying to conceive?”
“Yes, that’s right,” I said.
“What’s that thing called?” she asked, still not really believing the story.
“Just type ‘ladycomp’ into Google. It’s a registered medical device from Germany.”
She wrote it down.
HA.
Now, when we mentioned the Ladycomp story to our midwife (who’s from the Netherlands), she didn’t even blink, “Oh yeah, that’s good.” When I said that it was nice to find someone who knew about the Ladycomp, she said that lots of women use it in Europe, no big deal. Of course, I couldn’t help myself and started talking about the poison pushing pharmaceutical companies and how many American women are brain washed into using dangerous drugs to avoid pregnancy. She kinda smiled, shook her head and said, “America… America is a funny place.”
“Yeah, but the joke is getting old,” I said. So much for maintaining appearances in public. Oh well.
The fact that Becky and I are both eating a Weston A. Price style diet almost certainly contributed to the effort. Everyone knows people in their thirties or even twenties who are incapable of having children. Often, when you look at their lifestyles, you have to wonder how they’re alive at all. Lots of soda, white bread, nutrasweet, polluted air, water and food. Toxic jobs. Lobotomizing television. Lots of dangerous prescription drugs for anything that ails ya… And increasing numbers of people aren’t able to have children. Imagine my shock.
When I was in the U.S., I was absolutely sure that I didn’t want children. This is how I summed up the situation back then: You’d have to be fully insane to want to bring a child into this living Hell. I’ll get by as best as I can and that will be the end of it. No need to involve a child in this horror. Isn’t that a nice outlook?
Then again, I hadn’t met Becky at that point.
Now that we’ve left the U.S. for good, the situation is very different. I don’t see the end of the world right in front of my face every minute of the day out here. In fact, I’m only reminded of it when I look at this computer screen. I’m not constantly wondering about how I’m going to be screwed over next. Not having to show up to an office is a life altering experience in and of itself. Living debt free is another revelation. Breathing clean air, drinking clean water and eating clean food; it’s amazing how living a sane existence can change one’s outlook.
We’re happy here. We think our baby will be happy here too.
Congratulations to you both!
Weeeellllll. Congrats to all of you. How sweet. Kids
will stretch your mind and patience in ways you can’t
imagine. I can only imagine all the advice you’re
getting. Cheers! Michelle
http://youandyouroilthing.blogspot.com/
Congrats 🙂
ps. not all of us Jesus nuts are neocons. Hard to believe, but its true 🙂
Mavel Tov! As recent parents on a similar path, albeit in the opposite hemisphere, I recommend the experience. Looking back, I couldn’t imagine bringing Asher into a hyped up and polluted urban environment. Coincidently, I was just writing about diaper free on my blog. Also recommended…
It is all hugely life altering, but very grounding. Enjoy…
zane
Thanks to all for the congratulations and good wishes.
@wilsonian: I don’t know all that much about Jesus, but something tells me He wouldn’t have been so comfortable with all that neocon stuff anyway!
@zane: Can’t wait to go and check out your “diaper free” post. This is something we really want to find out more about over the next few months.
Cheers!
Rebecca
@ Zane, I have a sheep named Asher. Great
name.
Congratulations you two…I’ve been a dad for all of two weeks now, and it’s like nothing I’ve ever done. In a good way.
Congratulations!
It’s a funny thing: while my outlook is not quite as dark as Kevin’s, I’m definitely in the same neighborhood. But if you have kids, you’re sort of forced to have some optimism. Otherwise…….
kids are like pet goats, only better! (excuse the pun)
congratulations and best wishes!
congratulations to the three of you! (or should I say five, counting the goats?)
anyway, you are totally right about the average jane hooked on her diet coke and pedicures not being able to conceive. And then if they do get pg they need pitocin, spinal blocks, c-section to give birth. egads! try to have a home birth if you can..or at least if you feel comfortable with that.
I am a doctor and knew I had to have my baby at home…the hospital is not a safe place! I got pg the first time to…in a gorgeous wildflower meadow on a Memorial Day hike when I was 37. I swam, walked and did yoga everyday and had healthy baby boy at home with a six hour labor.
I also recommend attachement parenting, co-sleepign, breast feeding and baby wearing. You know, when I got married everyone said, “you’re life is really going to change now!” And they were wrong, I just went from living with my boyfriend to living with my husband…but boy, after merriweather joined us (his fetus name) life changed awhole lot! he is 8 now and it has been the a great ride, so enjoy your spontaneous freedom while you can!
Again, blessed be to you both!
Hi there,
At the moment it looks like we’ll probably have the baby at the midwife-run maternity annex in Kaitaia. It’s not quite a home birth, but our midwives (who are very comfortable with home birth), say that they can offer much better post-natal care and support for first-time parents at the maternity annex. We like the idea of having access to these services, especially the lactation consultant. I also like the look of their water-birth pool, and they have private rooms with beds big enough to share with Dad and Baby. Not much risk of a rogue spinal block or c-section, since these are not on offer in Kaitaia. Our midwives are not in favour of unnecessary medical intervention, in any case. In the event of a woman needing an emergency c-section, they have to helicopter her to the city.
I’m continuing my yoga practice during pregnancy, though at the moment it seems like it’s happening every other day rather than daily. I should try to get better organised and do a full practice every day, since it feels so good! It’s always encouraging to hear from people who took care of themselves and had good pregnancy and birth experiences. Of course, there are no guarantees that things will go smoothly, but I surely want to give it the best possible chance.
We are fully sold on attachment parenting, and all those other good things, by the way!
Thanks to all for your comments and good wishes.
Rebecca
Congratulations! Looks like your new little one will be 1 year younger than our own newest edition!
I discovered the toxicity of birth control just months after I started taking it, and haven’t used it since. Yet even without that, our three children are an average of six years apart, and each one planned.
awesome news! my warmest congratulations to the family.
good someone is keeping up against that tendency towards idiocracy 🙂
Hi there
I was sooo excited to find your site…can’t remember how i got to it…
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
We have so much in common and I have so many questions. I am an Attachment Parenting International leader and also a Diaper Free baby leader, so I may be able to put you in contact with likeminded people and recommend stockists/books etc. (my mum makes one-wet pants for diaper free babys ;-)) I also follow the Weston A Price diet, and eat as organically and raw as possible.
I am tandem breastfeeding all 3 of my children (aged 4, 2 and 6 months)…you would think I was a hippy, but no, I am an ex-accountant, and quite normal!
Now I have some questions for you…where did you get your grinding mill from? Where did you buy the Ladycomp from? (and did you pay $450USD for it? – my husband doesnt want another baby, but I am hoping he might stretch to another ;-)). Would you courier your sourdough starter to me in Hamilton? (I just can’t get my starter going, and I am constantly baking bricks!
Look forward to hearing from you!
Rachel
Hi Rachel,
We got the Country Living Grain Mill when we were still living in the USA. I found the website of the people who make it, and called to arrange getting one with a small blemish at reduced cost. It still wasn’t cheap, but the quality is excellent. Shipping to New Zealand might come at a big cost, though, since it is very heavy. We shipped ours over here with the rest of our belongings.
The Ladycomp is expensive! Alas! I think it actually cost even more than US$450 back when we got it. Again, the quality is excellent, and you might be able to recoup some of the cost by re-selling it once you’ve finished using it.
About the sourdough: Please email me (rebecca at farmlet dot co dot nz) with your address so that I can send it to you. Also, any further info or contacts for Attachment Parenting International and Diaper Free Baby would be much appreciated. . . and I’m very curious about these pants that your mum makes!
Many thanks for getting in touch.
Rebecca
Yes America is a funny place…that is where I live. I use the ladycomp and it is sad that more women in the United States do not know about this wonderful machine! Lets get the word out!